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The mainstream media has recently published numerous articles regarding the impending abolition of cash. One can easily detect they are conditioning us for a cashless world. They quote the declining use of cash in retail transactions. I notice we are being forced into this scenario. Supermarkets have dramatically reduced their person-manned cash checkouts. Bank branches close down without any consideration of their customers.
I stood in line at a Woolworths checkout out. I refuse to use self-serve. This young yuppie woman was eager to pay for her full trolley with her smartphone. The phone wasn't that fucking smart, and refused to pay for the goods. The young woman became flustered after numerous failed attempts.
Myself being a smart arse, I did something I later regretted. I opened my wallet, flashed a bundle of cash and mockingly waved it at the frustrated young woman. The young female looked at me with haughty contempt and said, "fuck off, boomer." She left her trolley, explaining she'd return with cash. The middle-aged checkout chick, more chook than a chick, sighed, "It often happens."
The use of digital wallets, smartphones and watch transactions has increased exponentially. From $746 million in 2018 to over $93 billion in 2022. What next? Everyone will be fitted with a microchip. It's estimated Australia will enter a cashless society by 2030. Governments want to eliminate cash to control criminal activities such as laundering money. A digital trail is more accessible to follow. Also, small businesses will lose the advantage of cash to minimise their tax liability. Governments will also save on printing notes and minting coins. What will we put in the Christmas pudding?
I went to my regular bank branch, one of the Big Four. I must travel further as my closest bank branches have closed in the past three years. I stood in the long queue. There were six teller windows, and only one was open. I presented my withdrawal slip of $10,000 cash. I received a look as if I'd asked the female teller to show me her tits. The inquisition started. What did I want the money for?
My first thought was to answer, "My fucking business." However, sarcasm engulfed me. I explained I would go to the races bet on the long shots. Then I was going to a pub to get on the piss. Finally, I was going to visit a brothel and hire three hookers and fuck myself silly. If there were any money left, I'd spend it foolishly. The startled teller said, "I'll have to call my manager."
The manager arrived, a thirty-something immaculately presented in a power pants suit sans make-up and a butch boy's haircut, sporting the rainbow regimes lapel badge. You get my drift. She condescendingly spoke to me as if I was a moron and explained in a confected, correct English manner, "These are the new rules. We all have to abide by the rules. I'm sure even you can understand that." I stood silently, seething the words fuck you fuck your bank stick your bank where no man has been. However, I held my tongue as a man mountain Pacific Island security guard hovered behind us. The masculine manager elaborated, "All cash transactions of $10,000 and over have to be recorded for the purpose they are being used." An old law required the banks to report to the Australian Tax Office any cash deposited over $10,000. We used to bank amounts under $ 10,000 to circumvent this law. We sold cars, no questions asked for cash.
The bank box biter manager advised me to withdraw $5000 in two transactions I did, and I also closed down my account but left $1 in it. The bank has to pay $1.40 to post me a monthly statement. I required the money to pay for my home to be painted inside. I received a substantial tradie discount for cash.
We will inevitably become cashless. The question must be asked: who benefits? Certainly not you and me. Banks will add billions to their outrageous yearly profits in a cashless world. Fewer bank branches, fewer staff. Plus, they reap the benefits of every transaction at a retail outlet on a credit card; the retailer has to pay the banks 1.3% to 3.5% fees. The banks charge interest up to 21% on credit card balances. Some retailers pass this charge to their customers, making a purchase with a card more expensive. Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he will rob everybody.
Successive governments should never have allowed the Big Four banks to enjoy their abuse of market share. The Australian banks are a cartel with incestuous cross-ownership. Not only are they fucking you, but are also fucking each other. After the useless, toothless Royal Commission into nefarious banking practices, it was discovered the banks were engaging in necrophilia. Metaphorically speaking, the banks were still fucking people after they died. Banks sometimes offer no interest. Yes, they don't give a fuck. The Royal Commission only established what everyone already knew. Banks are real bastards. Bank executives have the morals and ethics of an alley cat on heat.
Banking executives receive millions in salaries and bonuses. They have no empathy for the suburban family struggling with their mortgage and other cost of living expenses. Australia has experienced 13 interest rate rises. The banks pass on this rise immediately. When interest rates came down, the banks waited weeks before reducing their rates.
The Big Four banks have an insatiable appetite for swallowing smaller banks. So many smaller banks have disappeared. After the predatory big banks buy them, they disappear with the efficiency of a mafia-hit man disposing of a body. The ANZ is negotiating the purchase of Sun Corp Bank. At the sale conclusion, observe how quickly Sun Corp is erased. If someone robs a bank in a hold-up, they receive a lengthy prison sentence. However, banks can legally steal millions of people's money. Reposses their homes and businesses, farms. If you can't pay, they sell your debt to parasitical debt collection agencies for 5% in the dollars who harass the pitiful debtor.
Now, a world without cash. The recent Optus outage showed us what the world will be like. Thousands of retailers lost money from customers' inability to pay. The unsympathetic CEO lost her job in the fiasco.
People will have to adjust to a cashless world. The ramifications are horrendous. How will we manage? The Tooth Fairy, a child must have an EFTPOS machine beside their bed. A busker will need their own EFTPOS machines. What about a mugger? "This is a stick-up; swipe your card here." Homeless beggars will be fucked out of business. If their tip is paid by credit card, restaurant waiters must declare it. What about a game of two up? The spinner throwing two credit cards in the air. That wouldn't work. How about two smartphones? No fucked if that would work either.
Car boot sales, garage sales. The discount from tradies when you offer cash. How is a husband going to a brothel on a wild night out with the boys going to pay for a hooker without the wife knowing? In the past, it was cash for the gash. Taxi drivers will be big losers; no more turning the meter off and pocketing a cash fare.
In my younger days as a car dealer, knockabout cash was a big part of our business. We sold cars for cash, no questions asked. Also, when we went to a restaurant, we peeled off payment for the bill from a wad of cash in our pocket secured with an elastic band. A day at the races, bookies only dealt in cash. Can you imagine going up to a bookie in the future? "I'll have $50 bucks on number five race six on the nose." The bookie's reply, "OK, wave your phone here."
A cashless world is just the beginning of the population being controlled. The world won't be a better place if there is no cash. It won't stop crime. It may temporarily slow some criminal enterprises down. However, today's largest criminal corporations, besides banks, are cyber and digital criminals who steal from unsuspecting people via bank transfers. People have lost their life savings at the press of a button. The banks should spend some of their billions in profit on more security. I guarantee tighter security would be in place overnight if the government held the banks responsible for the digital thefts.
What are the benefits of no cash? I can't think of many; sweet fuck all. The disadvantages. Identify theft, social exclusion, and undermining privacy—fewer options for women fleeing abusive relationships. The elderly, people who are blind or with dyslexia, will be disadvantaged. The most vulnerable will be the big losers. What about people who often go bankrupt through no fault of their own? What happens if you lose your phone encrypted with all your details?
In summary, if the banks and supermarkets favour a cashless society. You can guarantee it won’t benefit the people but will disadvantage them. The relentless pursuit of profit drives the banks. Do not ever fool yourself into thinking the banks ever put you, the people, first. The simple fact is the banks couldn't give a fuck.
Danny Mullane
Buy Danny's controversial memoir Car Dealers and Other (Honourable) Professions below.
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